I feel like writing.



I wish I could be there for my sisters. Nat has apparently been getting drunk a lot (she's supposed to be going easy on the booze..she's a slight alcoholic) and Elizabeth has 30 days to improve her chats-per-hour at work (she works for a company for Ebay) or she loses her job; and this caused her to have suicidal thoughts. And on top of that she's worried about bills.

I shouldn't be, but I'm worried about my parent's money situation all the time. My mom works her ass off, and I know one day she's going to burn herself out. I mean, its bad enough that she works 12 days on/2 days off...But she took some extra shifts for this Sunday so now she only has Saturday off. I hate how my parents have to worry about money all the time...And when I need something, I end up feeling bad. Like, they have to pay school fees, grad fees, and get me new glasses, on top of having to pay all of our other bills. The phone calls from Capital One have gotten so frequent that my parents make ME talk to them because I'm the only one that has enough balls to bitch at them.

I feel like I need a change in my life, or something. I wish I wasn't so lazy. I want to do my correspondance....I really do. I was going to do some today, but I woke up at 11:30, took my pills, went on the computer for a bit, and napped until 4:45.

Bah, I'm starting to feel like crap now. =[ My face is all icky and I feel fat and unattractive. I hate being a girl. I hate being the way I am. I hate being unmotivated and lazy. I hate how I sleep all the time. I hate being alone. I hate not having a life.

Shitty cell phone pics from the Billy Talent/Rise Against/Anti-Flag/Moneen concert.

( set me off like dynamite )

Random cell phone pics.

( i searched for love in an empty world but all i found was hate )

Random digital camera pics.

( .....And in that moment I refuse to close my eyes anymore )

I need to make some improvements in my life.

I'm going to start eating better, and have smaller portions. 'Cause I pork out too much.
I'm going to stop smoking.
I'm just going to try to be healthier over all and see where that takes me. See if i need any more improvements.

I've realized that somewhere along the line I've lost 10 lbs.

187. Woo.